Promises
by Manika-on-a-whim
Summary: Tumblr request: SasuSaku based on prompt #93: "Losing you was the most unbearable pain I've ever felt." Post-War Blank Period Sasuke decides to travel the nations as soon as his probation ends but Sakura isn't sure about it. She's scared of him leaving her yet again. Sasuke tries to make her understand. And so, the two make promises to each-other..


**Posted on: 20/01/16**

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**_A/N: It took me really long to write this since I haven't written SasuSaku in ages and my writing is still kinda rusty._**

_**So bear with me dear.**_

_**And prepare yourself for some angst and comfort..:3**_

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**Prompt: "Losing you was the most unbearable pain I've ever felt."**

**Words: 1938**

**Rating: T**

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Sitting on a couch in the lavish, new apartment that he was relocated to, Sasuke Uchiha looked anywhere but at the unexpectedly quiet, pink haired kunoichi right in front of him. For a brief moment, his wandering mismatched orbs met the obsidian ones of a pale guy named Sai, who is supposed to keep an eye on him for his month long house arrest. The weirdly stoic man stared at him from the far end of the living room, where he was standing comfortably with a sketch pad and a brush in hand. Sasuke averted his attention right back to his ex-teammate. Ever since his pardon (courtesy of Kakashi) for his many unwarranted crimes during his years as a missing S class nin, he had noticed the subtle change in her behavior. Its understandable that they aren't the same teens who were put together under team 7 yet Sakura was never this guarded around him. It was almost as if she was trying to keep their encounters to the bare minimum, only stopping by to do a quick checkup on his healing wounds and his lost arm. Usually Naruto was around them to diffuse the awkwardness in such situations but unfortunately, the hyperactive blond wasn't available that day. Something to do with him bidding farewell to his friends from the neighboring lands.

There could be numerous reasons pertaining to her silent treatment but Sasuke didn't have the patience to mull over all of them and figure it out by himself. The only other option he was left with was to confront her about it. But having hurt her more than once due to his resolve for revenge and revolution, he didn't know how to strike a normal conversation with her. The last time he uttered something to her was at the Valley of the End, where he had sincerely apologized to her. From then on, it had been just her looking after him at the hospital, narrating fascinating tales about her experiences as a medical ninja whilst he barely nodded his head.

Sasuke sighed. It had always been a one-sided effort— him paying no interest to anything other than his goals as she worked hard on maintaining their delicate bond. But he didn't want things to remain that way any longer. He didn't want his soul to stay shrouded in the darkness associated with his clan. If not more, he atleast owed her just as much importance as she gave to their every second spent together. She was generous enough to forgive him for everything he'd done and accepted him with her warm smile. She had let her tormented heart trust him yet again so easily that he wanted to become a man worthy of her forgiveness.

"Sakura," he tried, hoping his query will reach across her by the shear intensity of his gaze.

The said woman however, didn't spare him a glance. She was too focused on patching a partially healed cut on the left side of his lower abdomen. "Sasuke-kun," she replied simply, signifying that she had heard him, her other palm gliding along his bare torso in search of any injuries she might have missed before.

He was glad that even after years of separation she didn't drop the endearing suffix whenever she addressed him. To a stranger it may seem like nothing but to him, the small gesture meant that she still regarded him with the same level of admiration she did years ago. However, her response didn't help steer the conversation anywhere.

Sasuke shut his mouth tight, his tongue pressing against the inner wall of his cheek in annoyance. Had it been any other time where she wasn't mad at him for reasons unknown, she'd have said a few _more_ words, making this whole thing a lot simpler for the both of them. But that day, she just wasn't in the mood to waste her energy in idle chitchat.

With the examination done, Sakura placed her palms gently on either side of his face and angled it up. A pair of onyx and mauve clashed with refreshing emeralds and Sasuke gulped, watching her send spasms of her soothing chakra through his ocular network. The strain in his eyes reduced comparatively and Sakura let go of his face.

"There. Now you won't have to stay in Konoha after your probation ends." The words slipped out of her lips absentmindedly and her pupils dilated in shock. Probably because she wasn't supposed to say that directly to him.

Sasuke took in a long breath, his calm demeanor replaced by slight irritation. Was that what it was about? Him leaving the village as soon as he was back in shape? He didn't want to believe that his friend and lover since childhood wasn't speaking to him over something as insignificant as this. Throughout his trial, the five Kages as well as their subordinates discussed various forms of punishment for him but it was he himself who chose that in the end. He pledged to travel around the allied nations, aid each land in repairing all the damage and inconvenience he had caused as a miscreant and even handle other wrongdoers if he happened upon them during the journey. It was his first step towards redemption— a suggestion that the jury readily agreed to because everyone was excited to give orders to and make Sasuke Uchiha dance to their whims. And so, of all the people he's acquainted with in the Hidden Leaf Village, he had hoped that his former team would be supportive of his decisions from then on.

"Sakura.." he mumbled, unsure of how to proceed. How was he supposed to convince someone who had always readily understood him without him having to explain a word of it?

"Don't.." she said, bringing a hand up to stop him, "You have no idea."

He motioned his lips to try and make her realize how necessary this was for him yet she shook her head and went on, "Do you know how hard it is when your genuine feelings are shrugged off as a mere teenage crush? Do you know how difficult it is when everyone expects you to give up on your very own emotions? Do you!?" her tone escalated and she lowered her head to obscure the fresh tears falling down her eyes, "No you don't. You do not understand it Sasuke-kun, you can't! No one can.."

He bit the insides of his cheeks, his only hand twitching to wipe her tears away yet he resisted the urge, afraid of her reaction to his touch— to the touch of the same man who had harmed her on more occasions than protect her..

"Losing you was the most unbearable pain I've ever felt." She stated with a sob, tilting her head up to let him witness the honesty in her tearful gaze. "I can't lose you again.."

It was true that he didn't understand. He wasn't able to comprehend how a woman as benevolent, loving and beautiful as herself came to give her heart to someone so malign like him. He knew it was rude of him to ask for more of her when she had always given her best but he had to do this. She could hate him for the time being– god how he wished she'd have a sliver of hatred for him hidden somewhere beneath all those thick layers of her affection but she didn't. She was too good to have any sorts of negative emotions towards him.

"I must do thi–"

"Stop lying to me, Sasuke-kun." She cut him off, a bitter smile gracing her cherry lips, "Just admit that I'm not enough for you to stay. That I never will be.."

For the first time since his return to Konoha, Sasuke's composed countenance wavered, shock momentarily flitting across his face. Subconsciously, he covered the dormant cursed seal on his neck and turned his head to the side. He had always considered her the small but strong flicker of joy in his rather desolate life so hearing her belittle herself irked him. Had he known that his plans about the travel were causing her this much distress and self-doubt, he would've talked to her sooner.

"I admit it." He spoke, turning his head back to flash her an earnest gaze. "I admit that I can never understand the anguish of your heart. And I do acknowledge your indelible love for me. I'm grateful, Sakura.." He said, wishing somehow his words would express the sincerity in them. "But I can't answer your feelings right now. I..I'm not worthy of them.."

"Sasuke-kun!" she literally yelled in disappointment. It was her turn to get irritated at his self-loathing. "I told you that I don't hold you responsible for any of that. We both hurt each-other and..I have put those happenings far behind."

"Have you now?" he asked pointedly and she bit her bottom lip hesitantly. "Have you, Sakura? If so, then why won't you let me do the same?"

Her lips quivered then, all her pent up fury and agony unleashing like a wildfire as she broke down into loud sobs. Sasuke noticed how shaky her feet were and immediately wrapped his lone arm around her waist, helping her settle down on the couch next to him. But she paid no heed to his act for she was too busy weeping and wiping her tears, struggling with the sudden shattering of her emotions. And Sasuke watched. He made sure to capture the whole scenario with the power of his eyes..to have a recorded evidence of how much he had bruised the heart of the only woman who had truly and unselfishly cared for him.._loved him_!

"I..what if you don't retur–"

His palm instantly clamped over her tear-soaked lips, desisting her from finishing that ominous sentence. This was what he wanted to bring an end to— people actively doubting him. He wanted to prove that he was way above his past, hateful self. He wanted people to trust him like they used to when he was still a willing citizen of this village. But most of all, he wanted to restore that blinding faith she had in him. And for that, he needed to leave. It was mandatory for him to pay the price of sins and redeem himself.

"I will never cause you misery again. I swear this on my pride as an Uchiha. I won't tarnish your your soul any more than this. So please..have some faith in me." He spoke as tenderly as he could, reaching out his hand to hold her dainty palm in his calloused one and gave a squeeze in assurance.

The glassy eyes of the pinkette faltered at his words, a mix of shock and pride swimming in them. And just like that, she allowed her head to nod slowly, a timid smile curving upon her lips. She allowed her scarred self to have faith in him.

"I'll be back to you. And then, we can figure work out this unspoken whatever I have for you.." he added, as if to solidify the foundation of his previous statements.

More tears cascaded down her cheeks— happy tears! And she squeezed his palm in return. "Then, I'll wait for you. Always.."

Silence took over the room yet again, the two young adults exchanging their sentiments through their meaningful gazes. They were too lost in their own little world to even take note of the pale, ex-root nin observing them the whole time, capturing those sequence of events not just in his memory but also on a fresh page of his sketchpad.

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_**A/N: Hope it was upto everyone's expectations..:)**_

_**Request SasuSaku oneshots from the Prompt List on tumblr.**_

_**Until Next Time…**_  
_**~Manika**_


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